Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Sometimes Dolls are Evil

Take a look at this doll…

I personally don’t find her troubling. She doesn’t really look demented and she certainly doesn’t give the impression that she is a minion of the antichrist. Elyse used to agree, that is, until this morning.

Aaron left for school and Elyse and I decided that we should play with her babies. Everything was cool; everyone was having a good time. I was feeding her new knitted pug some baby cereal and she was giving her baby a bottle when she decided to put the doll down for a nap. This doll does a lot of stuff if you do different things with it. If you squeeze a foot, it cries. If you squeeze its belly, it laughs. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, what we didn’t know until today was that if you feed the baby and then immediately put it down, it goes into sleep mode and the baby snores. Elyse DID NOT appreciate this feature.

At first she just kind of starred at me from her bed with this look of horror plastered clear across her face. Then the baby snored again and in about 2.1 seconds she was wrapped around me so tight that I needed a crowbar to get her off of me. A few minutes later I had to call our pediatrician about a prescription for Aaron and I had to run into the kitchen to double check the name of what he needed. After I left her room, she threw such an incredible, blood-curdling, terrified fit that you would swear that I had left her alone with Chucky.

When I finally got her to calm down, I took her back to her room where evil baby waited and I asked her if she would feel better if I turned the baby off. She responded with a very enthusiastic “YES” and so I turned the thing off. She has refused to put the baby down ever since.

The thing is, now she has me all paranoid and I am starting to look at that baby in a whole different way. Just to be on the safe side, I think that I am going to lock the thing in a closet before bedtime tonight because, you know, sometimes dolls are evil.