Monday, September 19, 2011


There have been some wonderfully stupendous, miraculously awesome, over-the-top fantastic things happening in the Hicks household as of late. What I am about to tell you is truly amazing, and has been six years in the making. Ladies and gentlemen…We…are now a…diaper-free household!!!!!

Praise be to the baby Jesus! That’s right folks, Mike and I are now the proud parents of not one, but two children who no longer poop and pee in a diaper, but on a toilet…like real live humans and everything.

Elyse is now officially potty trained. I remember when Aaron got with the program and mastered the fine art of using the potty. He was three and a half and Elyse was just a newborn. It was such an amazing, freeing thing to know that my child could take care of this little task all on his own, but we were just starting out with Elyse and I almost couldn’t imagine a day when both kids would be rid of diapers for good. But here we are, a little over three years later and I have bought my last bag of diapers. Ok, to be honest, she is still using nighttime diapers, but in the grand scheme of things, nighttime potty training is a walk in the park compared to mastering it during the day. I can live with buying one bag of nighttime diapers once a month.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that this has been an easy journey by any stretch of the imagination. This has been a battle of wills people, and to be honest, she just about broke me. Like the day that I had asked her literally every ten minutes for the entire day if she needed to pee, and every single time she said no, but then she would disappear for a minute or two and come back dripping with urine announcing with a grin that she had just peed in her underwear. The last straw that day was when I asked her if she needed to use the potty, she said no while she was rummaging through her toy box. I walked out of her room for exactly one minute, came back, and she told me that she had peed in the toy box…where she keeps her toys…peed…in the f*****g TOY BO X!!!!!

So I lost my shit for a minute, decided that, “This is war Peacock,” and refused to give up. The next morning when I presented her with underwear yet again she looked at me like, “Really, after the whole toy box thing you are still working the underwear angle?” And from then on she understood that she could pee in her underwear, she could defile her toy box, but by God I would keep coming at her every freakin morning with another pair of underwear until either I took a nap with my head in the oven or she gave in and got with the program.

And thankfully…she got with the program.