Friday, November 20, 2009

Mommy Word Problems

1.  If it takes twenty minutes to clean up one mess, and for every one mess that you clean up, the kids make three more, how long will it take you to clean the entire house?

2.  Your child has a doctor's appointment at 10:15 AM and you live 20 minutes away from the office.  How early should you leave your house to ensure that you make it to the apopoinment on time? 
  • Add an extra hour if you have a newborn.
  • Add an additional fifteen minutes for each additional child that is going with you.
  • If you are flying solo, cross your fingers and say a prayer.
  • How do you feel about speeding?
3.  If a train leaves the station at 2:00 PM going 45 mph and you leave the house at 2:15 PM to go to Wal Mart traveling at 55 mph, calculate the odds that your little princess won't have an apocalyptic meltdown in the middle of the feminine hygiene isle because you ventured out so close to nap time?

4.  You and your husband are planning a date night for this weekend.  You have two children and both of them have been perfectly healthy.  Determine the correct ratio that best reflects your odds of neither child getting sick the morning of your date thus requiring you to cancel date night.  Multiply that by 10 if it has been more than a month since your last date.

5.  Johnny has 5 toy trucks.  Timmy has 2 toy trucks.  If your playgroup last for 2 hours, how long will it take Timmy to throttle Johnny for an extra truck, thus requiring you to immediately leave the playgroup in shame?

6.  1 cookie has 250 calories.  6 cookies have 1500.  How many cookies will you need to eat to feel better about your disastrous trip to Lowes with your seventeen month old?  Multiply that number by 25 to determine your guilt level for having eaten so many cookies.  Now, take the number of cookies that you ate, factor in your guilt level, and predict the odds of you getting on the treadmill to work off those cookies.


Leslie said...

Okay, first, this is HILARIOUS!

Second, we are totally on the same wavelength. I have three word problems in my blog draft folder. They were too long for Twitter, but too short and not realized enough for a post. Dude, this is getting creepy!

Third, this could be our book! Mommy Math. The Math of Motherhood. You know?

Amy said...


Mommy Math: The Math of Motherhood
When one plus one equals baby, and baby equals insanity.
Leslie Grimmett and Amy Hicks