Friday, November 6, 2009

This Is The Job That Never Ends...Yes, It Goes On And On My Friends...

No, I will not do it. You can't make me. I absolutely refuse. No! No, no, no, no! There is no way on God's green earth that am doing another load of laundry. You're going to have to figure something else out because I am finished. Hire a Mistress of the Laundry whose only purpose is to wash, dry, and fold. Find the least disgusting laundromat, save up your change, and haul that crap to the location of your choice. Load up a wagon, trek down to the river, and beat your clothes on a rock. Whatever it takes to ensure that you're clothes are clean and you don't look like a hobo because my laundry days are OVER!

Well, that's what I would like to say to the family, but we all know that I am way to neurotic to allow them to go without clean clothes. What would the people think? You know the people. The ones with eyes, that look at you, judge you, always watching. Those people. It's just that I am so tired of doing the laundry. It never ends...ever. Even when I think that I am caught up and that there is no more dirty laundry anywhere in the house, I find something. Maybe it's a sock, or a pair of pajamas, something that sits there, dirty, mocking me, laughing, and that is all that it takes. That one stray article of clothing mutates into two stray pieces and before I know it, I am buried under a mountain of dirty clothes thinking to myself, "But I was just caught up. Where in the hell did all of this come from?"

We are a family of four for Pete's sake. We're not the Duggars. How can two adults and two children make so much laundry? It's a mystery to me, but I know that I have had it. Currently I am on load number two of what will most likely end up being six or more, and the saddest part about that is that I had done four loads on Tuesday. Three days ago. This past Tuesday. So if I don't post for a few days or you don't see me for a while, please send a search party because I am most likely buried beneath a gigantic pile of clothes and my only food source will be the gum and Chapstick that I discover in Mike's jeans.


Leslie said...

Ugh. Laundry. I hate it, too. I never have it done. It's always in process. There are the clean clothes that are nicely put away. The dirty clothes down the laundry chute. The dirty clothes on the floor. The clean clothes in the laundry basket waiting to be put away. And there is always something in the dryer.

Laundry is dumb.

P.S. My word verifcation: floped. Don't know why, but it made me giggle.

Amy said...

Laundry is dumb. Real damn dumb! I always start with good intentions, but I almost always have to rewash a load or two that has either sat in the dryer for too long and is wrinkled beyond repair or sat it the washer a little too long and got a little too funky dunky. Stupid laundry!