Elyse the Destroyer

Elyse is rough on, well, everything. Her path of destruction is wide and far reaching, and her choice of victims is completely random. She's like a tornado that was let loose in a trailer park; some trailers sit completely untouched, while others end up in a cow pasture thirty miles from home. She is also quick which means that she can draw on the walls, knock over every surrounding picture frame, and completely dismantle your car’s engine in the time that it takes you to turn your back and answer the phone. I’ve witnessed it happen.


She has drawn on the walls with colored pencil and crayon. Books and papers are no match for her. She seems to only have to think about it and she can level a block building that Aaron has poured his heart and soul into in less than half a second. Do we even need to revisit the Christmas Tree Debacle of 2009?

Yesterday was no exception. 2:00 PM rolled around like it always does and she was showing signs of needing a nap. So I scooped her up and took Princess to her room to retire for the afternoon. But like usual, I no sooner closed the door behind me when I could hear her whooping it up. I figured that she would get it all out of he system and eventually give in to the sleepies and so I went back down to the family room to help Aaron with his latest Play Doh masterpiece; a mess that has yet to be cleaned up.

She seemed to be making more noise than usual, but she wasn’t crying or screaming so I was alright with whatever was taking place out of my sight. Things eventually got quiet and before I knew it, it was time to get her back up. When I walked into her room, she was already awake and sitting in her lap was the lamp from her nightstand and all around her were shards of broken light bulb. I don’t know how she managed to keep from getting cut. I don’t know if she actually dozed off in the middle of all of that wreckage. I am not sure if she broke it soon after I left her, or if it was more recent. All that I knew for sure was that I had to get her out of there and figure out how I was going to clean up the aftermath. I had no idea that one little 60 watt bulb could break into SO many pieces. About ten minutes later, I felt confident that I had gotten everything and then Mike changed the sheet before she went to bed later that night.

In the entire time that she was in her room, I never heard a sound that would indicate serious destruction. I am so glad that she managed not to cut herself, and as you well know, I have seen much, much worse in that crib post nap time. Short of removing everything in my house and wrapping the walls with padding or keeping her in a straight jacket, there seems to be nothing that I can do to keep this girl from terrorizing our house. I can only imagine what she has in store for us next. As long as she doesn’t end up in hand cuffs on the evening news I suppose that we will be able to handle it.