The Gospel According To Jack...

I have known my friend Sara since our freshman year of college. She and I were roommates for the two years that I was there and I could not have been blessed with a more perfect person to share those two years. Several years later, she and I had baby boys about six weeks apart from each other and it seems that our sons are very much alike. After reading this email from Sara, I can only imagine the things that Jack and Aaron could come up with together. I asked her if I could share with you this email that she wrote retelling her tale of an incident that occurred following Easter service this past Sunday because it was so wonderfully written and so full of childhood wonderment that it begged to be shared. Oh yeah, and there are also zombies. Enjoy!

Picture this: Beautiful sunny Easter morning. A church full of faithful Easter morning Catholics. The priest delivers a thoughtful, well spoken homily about the way Jesus died for our sins and was raised on the third day: the Miracle of Easter. Mother and child sit quietly listening to the priest and enjoying the service. The threat of no Easter candy has kept the five year old boy quiet and attentive for the entire mass.

Now picture this.......

As Jack and I are leaving mass yesterday, we get in the normal receiving line to shake the priest’s hand. As the priest bends down slightly to shake Jack’s hand, Jack goes all in for the big bear hug. "Ah, How Sweet" the priest and I both thought. Then, in true Jack fashion he backs away from the priest, looks him in the eye, and declares, "Jesus was a zombie, ya know" ("WTF!?!?" I thought to myself). The priest looked MORTIFIED. I know I was. What are all these people thinking of me? Jack must have noticed the astonishment of the priest and everyone in earshot, as well as the horrified look on the priest’s face, because he continued..."No really. He was a zombie. It’s true. You are telling everyone that Jesus rose from the dead. That dude was dead for 3 WHOLE DAYS! And he was wrapped in cloth and stuff. Only zombies can raise from the dead. And zombies are covered in cloth too. So if only zombies raise from the dead and Jesus rose from the dead, then Jesus was a zombie".

He nodded his head yes as he explained himself, as if trying to convince the priest of his theory. When he finished the priest was still looking at him with the same mouth open, eyes wide, surprised and shocked look as when Jack first stated this new religious philosophy. Jack continued to nod his head as he got in one last word, "For real. It’s true. Think about it. Jesus had to be a zombie. It’s the only explanation that makes any sense. Believe me."

And just like that he skipped away as if he had been discussing the weather. When we got to the bottom of the steps, I looked back at the priest to see that he was still standing there, nearly frozen with the shocked and confused look still on his face. Me? I was only slightly embarrassed, but mostly impressed with my son’s logic and critical thinking skills. Maybe it’s easier to let him crawl on the floor and play with toys during mass. I am a little afraid what he's going to think of the Christmas story....

Thank you so much for sharing this Sara. I will never think of the Easter sermon the same ever, EVER again!