Why I Haven’t Posted In A Long Time…A Really Long Time…A Really, Really Long Time

So yeah, um, I haven’t posted in ten days. Not that I believe that I have this HUGE fan base that has been waiting with baited breath for my latest thoughts, I just feel like a giant loser for having nothing to say for so long. Well, that’s not exactly true. I do feel like a loser for not posting, but there has been a ton of stuff going on that has kept me from sitting down to lay in all out there. Here are a few things of note:


Aaron turned five on the 11th. F-I-V-E! My baby is growing up and is going to leave me. So, as I try to do every birthday, I went to great lengths to make his day special and show him just how much we love him…despite it all. Elyse and I ran around picking up balloons and ice cream and other birthday paraphernalia while he was in school for the morning. When we got home from shopping, I got to work on his birthday cake.

When their birthdays fall on a day separate from their party, I like to make them a special, homemade cake. This year, Aaron wanted a Scooby Doo birthday and what is more Scooby Doo than the Mystery Machine. So I channeled my inner Duff, and went to work replicating the Mystery Machine. It took two 9x13 Fun Fetti cakes, three huge cans of icing, a whole lot of food coloring, and three hours, but I created what I thought was a pretty close match to the Mystery Machine, if I do say so myself. What do you think?

When Aaron saw it he was SOOoooooo excited and he said, “Mom, it’s just what the Mystery machine should look like!” That made it all worth it. He was so proud of it that he took everyone into the kitchen to see it as soon as they walked through the door.

His party wasn’t until that Saturday and so I had a whole week of procrastinating work before the big day. Little by little, it all came together, and when we put it all out on Saturday, I thought that we had done a pretty good job.

After everyone ate, we had a real mystery for the kids to solve. They ran around the parish hall looking for clues with their magnifying glasses in order to find the “Creeper” that stole the cookies from the cookie jar. Five clues later, they found the mystery man who turned out to be Mike. He even said, “And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

Soon after, the party was over and everyone went home. Everyone seemed to have a really good time and I chalked up another birthday success.

Besides the crazy birthday stuff, another reason that I have been MIA is that I have been completely stupid for about two weeks now. Like, “do you have your head up your butt” kind of stupid. I was pumping gas last week and after I pulled out of the station and got back on the highway I heard a thump sound. I looked in the side mirror and realized that the thump was the door to the gas thingy (I am so dumb right now I can’t even think of the right description for it) and the gas cap was hanging out of the now closed door. I pumped the gas…put the pump back…and that was it. Oh well, at least I remembered to remove the pump right?

This past Tuesday, Elyse had her CAT scan for the spot on her ear drum. She had to be sedated and at times, I wished that I could have been. She looked adorable in her hospital gown and booties and she sat there in her bed as good as gold coloring a picture of a castle. I couldn’t get over how well behaved she was.

Just before they gave her the IV, the nurse gave her a sedative to help her relax. About ten minutes after it was administered, she looked over at me with these glassy eyes and laughed and laughed and laughed. My nineteen month old was completely wasted. She was cracking me up because she was so wobbly and she thought that EVEYTHING was funny. She reminded me of me after a few notorious steak fry nights, but that’s a whole other story.

Anyway, the IV was a nightmare. They had a really hard time getting it in and it took two IV therapists and about a half an hour to actually get one placed. When it was finally done she kept saying, “I sleep, I sleep,” but she couldn’t get comfortable. Because she was to be sedated, she wasn’t allowed to eat after midnight and she couldn’t drink anything past 7:00 AM. She asked me for a snack once earlier that morning, and I of course had to tell her no. Then after the IV was done, she asked for her cup. I told her that she couldn’t have it and she said in a very sad voice, “No snack….No cup.” It about broke my heart.

Just after 9:00AM, they took her back for the CAT scan which only took about twenty minutes and then she went to recovery for a while. By 11:30 AM we were all back home and the whole thing was over. Now we just have to wait on results which I just no are going to be fine.

Yesterday, I finally broke down and took my cat Hailey to the vet. We have been wanting to get her looked at for a while because her weight is a little out of control, but we kept putting it off. Then, for reasons that I am going to spare you from reading, I thought that she had an anal gland infection and I finally broke down and made the appointment. When we got there, the nurse told me to put her on the scale, carrier and all, and that she would weigh the carrier separate when we took her out for the exam. I put her on the scale and the numbers started jumping around like she was on the Biggest Loser when they finally stopped on 30lbs. Sure that was cat and carrier, but that carrier ain’t that big. After they weighed the carrier, it turned out that Hailey made up 23.3lbs of the total 30lbs. She should weigh more like 12lbs.

As it turns out, she does not have an infection, but she is fat and we have put her on a new canned cat food diet. We have to take her to the vet every couple of weeks to monitor her progress.

So that’s what I have been doing for the last ten days; Aaron turned 5, I planned a kick ass party, I got stupid, and my cat is fat. So how are things in your neck of the woods?