Thursday, March 18, 2010

How Is It Possible To Think About Everything, Yet Concentrate On Nothing?

Lately I’ve kind of been feeling like I just might be losing my mind because never have I felt so scattered or unfocused in my entire life. I think that I caught a bad case of ADD from the pediatrician’s office last week. I knew I should have used more hand sanitizer before we left. I don’t know what my problem is, but my mind refuses to stay focused on any one thought for more than thirty seconds at a time….Hmmmm, I wonder if leprechauns and gnomes are friends in fairy land?

Huh, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I can’t concentrate. Because I am so mentally spastic right now, I find it next to impossible to write a post that focuses on just one topic. So I am going to just write like I am thinking and we will see where it takes us mmmkay.

Aaron has to have a barium swallow test tomorrow. For several months now, he has mentioned off and on that his throat feels weird and that food is getting caught in his throat. He is even starting to go as far as refusing to eat certain things that he used to love because they now make his throat feel funny. Not ha, ha funny, but funny peculiar.

Parents, you know how these things work. These kinds of complaints are the Big Foot of the parenting world. You think that you see something, but you aren’t quite sure and then it is so infrequent that you question whether there was ever anything there to begin with and you sure as hell don’t want to show up at the pediatrician’s office with what you think is a Big Foot, but then it turns out to be your son in a monkey costume. You get what I’m saying, right?

Since Aaron tends to have a flair for the dramatic, we have kind of just let it go. But when he started mentioning it again last Thursday, we started to wonder if there wasn’t actually something to it and so we finally broke down and decided that it was time to take him to see the doctor even if it turned out to be a monkey suit.

We thought that maybe he had a tonsil issue, but when the PA checked him out she said that his tonsils were completely normal. Her only other explanation was the incredibly rare possibility that bands of tissue have formed in his throat. She said that these bands can cause tightening in the throat and food can get caught in them. Her answer…the barium swallow test.

Have you ever had to drink barium? It is NOT pleasant. It is a very thick, white, chalky liquid with a slight citrus aftertaste. My eyes are watering just thinking about it. Now, I can barely get this kid to let anything pass his lips unless it is either covered in ketchup or shaped like his favorite cartoon character. How in God’s name am I going to manage to get him to drink this liquid evil?

Next topic…

Ever since the most recent poop-in-the-bed episode, Elyse has been incredibly difficult to put to sleep. Naps, she has no problem with, but when evening rolls around and it is time for her to brush her teeth, she wigs out. She is also waking through the night screaming and I have to go in and hug her for a little while and when Princess has decided that she is all good again, only then will she cozy back up and go back to sleep.

So, that kind of sucks.

Moving along…

I recently bought a knitting book with all of these adorable toy patterns and I have been wondering if I should try to make some and sell them on Etsy. Etsy is a website where everything on it is homemade and many of the sellers are moms trying to make a few extra bucks. My friend Leslie uses Etsy to sell her adorable sock monkeys.

When I think about it, I get really excited and it makes me want to go to the craft store to buy all kinds of yarn so that I can get busy making a ton of cute toys that no one could possibly live without. But then I start to REALLY think about it and I am not sure that I could make them fast enough to carry any kind of stock. My days are limited as they are and I‘m not sure when I would find the extra time that I would need to seriously work on them. I imagine getting into a situation where I am running a tiny sweat shop out of my home but I am the only worker and I have to start knitting in the shower to keep up and before you know it, I will have gone six days without eating or sleeping and I will start naming my knitting needles and spontaneously laughing into my coffee cup because I think that the word couch is funny.

I could go on, but I think that I have shared enough for today. Now if you would excuse me, I feel the need to spend some time thinking about unicorns and whether or not they could be related to the horse of a different color from the Wizard of Oz. Heavy, huh?